Sad

I’m really sad right now. Kinda feel like crying under a rock somewhere.

Peek-a-boo?

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged.

Lets see whats new in my life… Well, the relationship I was in forever and a half ended, I got labiaplasty, umm… I can’t think.

There’s been a lot of stuff I guess. I went and spent Mother’s Day with my mom Sunday and that was pretty fun. We’re pretty much best friends.

I’ll try to blog more, as if anyone actually reads this lol!

What I look for in men…

I was asked to put this up, so here we go…

What I look for in men…

1. Intelligent – Absolute must. But not arrogant.
2. 8 inch plus – Harsh reality.
3. Good looking face and well groomed – and preferably hairless… everywhere below the neck. I hate hair!
4. Perfect body – Abs absolutely must be chiseled more than a Greek god, pecs and arms need to be nice as well. About medium size, not super big, but certainly not scrawny. And definitely a cute butt… If you have an e-mail I can just show you what I like with visual aids lol.
5. Good sense of humor! – Doesn’t need to tell jokes all the time or anything, but if they can’t laugh or their sense of humor just isn’t compatible, then it won’t work out.
6. Absolutely has to be able to communicate and listen.

So, you might say I’m very shallow. You can say it, I don’t mind. I’m not ashamed of it… It’s just how I am.

I also have a hypersexuality disorder, if you can call it a disorder… Use to be called nymphomania or whatever… So, someone with a strong libido is very important.

Visual aid, ideal penis size:
Click the images to enlarge — the images, sorry… Won’t enlarge that.

And visual aids for body:

Camera Trick #1

How to not look pasty white in a camera if you are:

White balance on blue.

This concludes Camera Trick #1… lol.

Sorry, I just like… see some videos of people that look like they just crawled out of a hole they’ve been living in for a year and there may actually still be something living in their hair and they could quite possibly be a new breed of vampire…

But yeah, that’s a nice lil camera trick. Just set your white balance to blue and you’ll look like you have a tan skin tone. Ta-da. Now that really concludes Camera Trick #1.

How to get a HOT girl

I know a lot of you out there are just clueless and wonder how the hell guys get hot girls, or you simply think it’s a conspiracy and is impossible for you. By hot, I’m talking 10’s, not sub 9.

First thing is personality. You have to have one. That sounds easy, but a little birdie told me it’s not. You finally build up the courage to talk to a hot girl, you walk up to her and start to talk, you realize it isn’t coming out anything like it was in your head and your heart is racing. There’s a couple ways you could deal with this at this point, but lets just go ahead and say you messed this one up. It could still be retrieved at this point, but just for space sake, lets say that one’s a goner.

First off, the reason you’re getting nervous and your heart is racing is because you want to fuck the girl and you think she’s too good for you and there’s no chance in hell she’s even going to consider you. Well, no shit. Not with you thinking like that she isn’t. You have to be confident! That’s rule #2. But we’ll get back to that one…

So, trouble speaking, yes? What do you do? Simple. First off, you’re going to have to waste a lot of time. No, not sitting on your couch with your buddy getting high, or watching football, or whatever it is you do, I don’t want to know, it’s none of my business. So, a lot of time. What you have to do is get it out of your head that you’re even interested in these girls. I know you are, but you aren’t, ok? You aren’t interested! I don’t care if she’s perfect and you think you’d give your left testi to sleep with her, you don’t care. That’s how it has to be.

Don’t believe me?

Walk up to a fat, ugly girl. Start talking to her. Ah, notice how much easier it is? That’s the point. Someone couldn’t pay you any fortune on this planet (of course, except maybe a date with another aforementioned hotty) to even spoon with this girl, well alone kiss or fuck her. Pardon the French. There’s gonna be a whole lot of French…

It’s simple. You don’t care. When you don’t care, you can talk to someone a lot easier than if you’re trying to get in their pants and are expecting them to reject you or are trying feverishly to be accepted. When you don’t give a shit if they want to sleep with you or not, it’s going to be a lot easier for you to talk to them.

I’m explaining this to the fellas out there, cause of course, I’m a girl, and this is actually pretty sound for the girls too, but I think more guys will be reading this and are probably having more trouble than we are. Besides, we get these special secret classes when we’re really small that tell us all this stuff anyways, right? Of course we do, duh!

Right so, back to getting the hot girl.

Beyond talking to this girl like you really aren’t interested in getting in her pants, and knowing in your head that you don’t want to, even if she offered you’d say no. I DON’T GIVE A GOOD GOD DAMN IF YOU THINK YOU WOULD, YOU WOULDN’T. IF YOU WANT A HOT GIRL, FUCKING NO! You don’t want to sleep with this girl!!! Got it?! You don’t. You aren’t going to. That is not the purpose of this.

And I swear to god, some of you guys that use computers are so cute, but if you say one damn word about computers or games, you may as well start slamming your head against the wall, because you’re going to look that fucking retarded to us. Not that knowing your way around a computer or even playing computer games are a bad thing, cause they’re not. They’re stereotypes, and you don’t want that. In fact, if you play computer games, if you do ever meet a hot girl, stop playing them immediately and remove all proof of their existance. You probably aren’t going to get a stuck up girl that actually cares, but that’s a stereotype you DO NOT WANT.

Don’t talk about the shit, I’m serious. If your talking points include either of those things, seriously… You need some fucking serious work. I don’t know what to tell you, you’re gonna have to get some hobbies or something. I hope you do have hobbies that don’t make you sound like a loser, cause you’re going to need stuff to talk about, and stories to tell…

What’s a good hobby? First of all, get your ass in the gym. Staying fit is a good hobby, you can spend at least half an hour a day. I spend an hour or two, sometimes more. I mean honestly, and this is just my opinion, but if you don’t like how you look, good lord… do you think someone else is going to? Do the best you can for yourself. Don’t feel like trash cause you’re not, just work on doing what you can. Even if your face is ass ugly, if you get a really nice body, you’re going to be able to get someone that looks good. You don’t need a nice body, it’s about personality for most… Well, for me it’s about both, and I’m sure it’s about the same for all the other conceited bitches like me out there.

Another hobby? Dancing. Learn to dance. There’s a couple of reasons, first of all… It makes you look good in the bedroom. Second, it’s good exercise and you’re gonna have to be in close proximity to someone most likely, and that’ll help clear up some of that nervousness we were talking about earlier. It’ll also help you be a bit more flexible, or it should at least. There are other things you can do of course, many things, but I’m not giving some expert guide here, just some basics. Please know how to dance. If you don’t know how to dance, don’t make yourself foolish by trying. Watch HITCH it’s a Will Smith movie, watch it. There’s a scene with Albert, or whatever his name is, trying to dance — Will gives good advice right there.

What else? That’s the most of it, really. You don’t need money, you don’t need a lot of things… Some girls like money, you kinda want to steer clear of those anyways. But, that’s basically it… You need to have a good personality, be confident and be able to talk to a girl (any girl), and having a nice body and being able to dance never hurts. Very good plusses to have. Just make sure you have something to talk about, but try not to have it so forced… If you don’t think you do, try getting hobbies that will give you stuff to talk about. Usually, if you go with friends, stupid crap will happen and you can laugh at it later… If you don’t have friends, well… Still get the hobbies, cause maybe you’ll meet some friends. Just follow the main thing I said, talk to hot girls knowing full well you aren’t interested in them, cause until you can talk to any girl like that at any time, you shouldn’t be. You need to work on yourself, before you should have someone else worrying about you. Worry about yourself first, then worry about having someone else to care about you.

Once you have some hobbies, are looking decent, and enough to talk about that you aren’t going to run out of stuff after 30 minutes with a girl (that’s why hobbies are good, cause they will create talking points over and over, rather than having a good introduction then once you get the girl, it goes to shit because you’re boring as shit), then go ahead and talk to some you’re interested in with an intent of getting to know them better. But, that’s not to say that the hot girls you met up till this point you can’t know better, you can, and I hope you do make friends with them. It’ll make things a lot easier for you down the line. Besides, everyone likes hot friends, right? Just try not to come off like you’re coming onto them if you’re trying to be their friend… Don’t try to be someone’s friend, it just happens. Forcing it’s too unatural. And yeah…

Hope that helps. Pay attention to that most important thing though…

As for the other girls out there… Want the easy button? Get a killer ass. You’ll have to beat them away with a stick!! Nice abs and legs never hurt anyone. But, you have to have an ass. Even if your face is ass ugly, if you have a killer ass, nice abs and nice legs, hell maybe not even killer abs, just a nice ass and nice legs, you’re going to be able to get a hot guy…

May want to check out my anal blog though, cause chances are if you’re picking up an ass guy, they’re probably going to be really interested in anal. Easy way to keep one too, assuming you’re not too much of a complete screwball lol.

Ass Sniffing

Soo, ass sniffing… What gives?

I mean, I don’t know… Call me old fashioned, but I thought that was just something dogs did to greet each other (or whatever it is they’re doing)?

Now, this just comes to mind and I felt like saying it and getting some feedback, cause I have got oodles of messages on YouTube with people telling me they want to sniff my ass.

I mean, okay, I can understand lick your ass, or fuck your ass, even finger. Worship maybe? But, sniff?

Is that some kind of odd fetish? I mean, I really don’t get it. What are they expecting to find down there..? lol. I had no idea so many people had a feces fetish. I mean, wow… That’s not to say I haven’t had a couple balloon fetishists message me too (talk about odd…). But, as if I’d even remotely have a smell down there if I was going to be letting someone sniff… I’m pretty cleanly anyways, but really… So weird…

Maybe they don’t literally mean sniff my ass? Maybe it means something more along the lines of do that while eating me out, or something? Cause, I could see how that would make sense, cause there’s a couple positions where y’know, the nose would be right there, and I guess that makes sense… But nobody ever says anything to that effect, so it’s really beyond me what people are thinking.

You tell me! What does it mean? Comments please.

Anal sex & Asses

Quick question here.

Do you feel that anal sex and a nice ass are mutually exclusive but not mutally dependant?

I’ll dumb that down for you all: Would you have anal sex with a girl that didn’t have a booty?

I think they do have a one sided direct correlation. I think if you enjoy anal sex, you appreciate a nice ass. I also think that appreciating a nice ass does not particularly mean you enjoy anal sex. Do you agree or disagree, and why?

Ever notice?

John Mclain – John McCain

There’s so many similarities between the people too! Just look at their personalities…

I wonder if Sarah Palin will be Lucy?

If you’re totally like “what is she going on about?!,” John Mclain is Bruce Willis’ character in Die Hard.

How to tell if…

How to tell if someone is lying about who they are via profiles on YouTube:

To be honest, many things I had on mine were a very good clue; though, I had put everything there intentionally. I’m pretty shocked nobody ever sent me a message mentioning it.

1. People who list their name. Not always true, but when in doubt, it’s a good sign.
2. ASCII art.
3. People who mention sex, their pussy is tight/wet, breasts/penis size, how they shave, sexual positions they like, et cetera. Also partying.
4. I find there’s a much higher chance within people who type like retards.
5. There’s a couple type of common naming schemes. Most will either be a human-like name or a very provocative name. For example, someone with a name like iLoVeDiCkS is probably either a man, young boy or a very young girl. The last one being least common. Names with names in them, e.g. SonjaLiebtDieBlumen, AngelinaAusOahu, et cetera. I find these people are most likely “role players” and thus why they strongly associate with a full name.
6. People who list their e-mails, msns, myspace, facebooks, et cetera. Chances are, they have very specific intentions. That would probably be to have “cyber sex” or as I prefer calling it, text sex with you.
7. People who show pictures of “themselves” on their profiles. I think you know which ones I’m talking about… Cover models, in modeling shoots. A random picture of a girl probably stolen off of a networking site, et cetera. If they have videos of theirself as well, they may very well be the claimed person. But, inability to produce anything except modeling pictures and such is a great sign.

Those are just a few easy ones. There’s more specific things, but I could go on listing for awhile… It’s much easier to tell while talking to someone. If you’re any bit intelligent, inconsistencies are quite easy to spot; though, be careful that you aren’t being too zealous… Sometimes someone may have just explained something poorly or you may have missing information. I’m talking direct contradictions. For example, “my mother is dead” then later “my mom is buying me. . .” et cetera. A lot of times people will just spew unbelievable shit from their mouth and not even be able to keep up with it, and they’ll feel especially threatened if you’re keeping up with it better than they are. Real people will generally just think you’re taking an interest to them, fake people will generally either get upset, nervous or anxious.

If you’re talking to someone and they’re sending you pictures, obviously if they’re modeling photos then chances are they may be a fake. It’s especially obvious if the pictures aren’t even the same model. There’s a couple types of people… Some people have 1-3 pictures of themselves, some people have no pictures of themselves, and some have tons. If someone has tons of modeling pictures, they like cameras. They should have tons of personal pictures too.

As for the actual conversation, there’s just a lot of things you have to look for to study the person. Tiny little things. The way they type, words they capitalize or don’t capitalize. There’s quite a lot of things, and I’m not really going to go through and name them. The point of studying the person is generally if you plan on calling the person out; because if you’ve studied them, you’ll have a much easier time demoralizing and crushing them. Not only will you be able to tell them they’re lying, how you know, but you’ll be able to tell them why and where they went wrong with their life. Some people that do that crap are actually very bad at dealing with their real lives, and they do their fake life as an escape. You should probably consider that before ripping them a new one. It’s always nicer to simply make an excuse to log off and just block them instead, or if it’s on YouTube, simply don’t respond to them anymore. They probably go through a lot of people and will forget you anyways. If it’s on some other site like MySpace then you’re probably SOL. I don’t use that site, not sure if it has a block feature or not, but I’m pretty sure they’d know at that point. You can always tell them you think your personalities are incompatible and would like to politely wish them the best.

Now, about me:

Obviously if you hadn’t guessed it, I was studying people. Here is everything that was there!:

WinkWinkHintHint - Provocative name. It’s like that for a reason, I don’t use it anywhere else. I have another that I use, it’s much more “me.”
My Butt (video) - Yeah, it’s actually me. Once again though, provocative.
Interests and Hobbies: Sex, anal, dancing, writing, my cell phone… Anything with sugar lol! - Okay, yeah I would never list sex or anal in interests or hobbies if it wasn’t for the purpose of someone seeing it. As for the rest, that’s pretty accurate… I’m pretty horrible at dancing though. Pretty much addicted to sweet things and my cell phone though. I love writing. Of course, I do actually really enjoy anal, but that’s beside the point. It isn’t just something I’d normally just venture out there and say, it’s more of a “keep it to yourself and your significant other” sort of thing.
Movies and Shows: Hannibal; Iron Man’s up there. Oh and I like Dexter for a series. - Okay, I do like those. But they’re not my favorites. Realistically, it’d be… Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Girl Next Door, The Lake House and similar… as is listed now.

What was I studying? Reactions. Not just to my profile or videos, but to phrases, sentence structure, different scenarios, et cetera. There are control variables.

Why would I admit that I’m doing that? Well, it doesn’t matter really. It’s still applicable. How can you know if I’m not intentionally checking reactions based on knowing I’m checking reactions? Do you think you would know either way?

Most of these things are very subliminal anyways, and I highly doubt I’d say a good 99.99% would ever notice. That’s further reduced by the fact that the people that are even finding this or my YouTube profile are finding it via a video of my butt. There aren’t many people in general that can interpret these things, it’s a gift I suppose.

I don’t feel bad about it, not at all. It isn’t like I’m lying to people. I intentionally say things in different ways, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still telling the truth. Same scenario told different ways, reactions noted across multiple people to reach medians and try to grasp how common some are and what normal reactions will be, and if not then what other reactions there will be, how often, and why those reactions occurred. It’s very psychological.

I do like Hannibal for that reason, and this is a reason I listed it on the profile’s favorite movies. Dr. Lector studies people similarly. Very interesting character.

Okay, so… Why would I study people? Well, I’m not getting any younger and I’ve been out of college for quite some time. I’ve always found Psychology interesting! I had a really good Psych teacher as a freshman my first year in college. I never took more classes on it though, they weren’t needed for my degree and my parents were paying for it — keep in mind this was a good 13 years ago, as of writing this.

Can I say penises?

Is the correct term penii? I don’t even know. You tell me.

I mean, for multiple penises.

Er, multiple penis.

Penii?

Oh fuck it, for multiple dicks. Oh, or cocks… Come to think of it, there’s lots of word choices… No wonder nobody uses penii… What a weird word…